Twilight: Can't have your Bloodcake and Eat it too

This is a review of a movie that if I said I like it, one group will love me, the other will hate me. It has holes, but if you watch the movie and hate those holes, chances are you're not the one that picked the movie and the one who did, loves those holes.

Twilight is a small-town, teen romance with vampires and potential werewolves. It features Bella (Kristen Stewart), a teenage girl who moves from the Arizona desert to the small mountain town up nort, Forks, Nebraska. Although being the quiet girl, it seems like every guy wants here. She falls for the most quiet and mysterious guy, Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson). He's pale, seems emo, and doesn't come to school on days when it is sunny. Also, he sits alone with his family at the cafeteris not eating a thing. It seems like uninteresting high school drama until Bella is nearly killed by a car speeding through the parking lot. She's saved by Edward, who appears from across the parking lot and literally pushes the car away.

For those who missed the obvious, Edward and the Cullens are vampires. Bella and Edward's romance is based entirely on the vampire/human concept, that he can save her when she's in danger, like when she walks down a dark sidewalk into trouble, but at the same time, he's a threat to her. It's like she's a cheesecake, -bloodcake in this case- which looks so pretty you just want to keep it to stare at and maybe lick the icing, but that is nowhere near as filling. Edward compares this thirst to heroin addictions and being the vegetarian in a world where steaks walk around you. The love is mystical but flat. Their first date consists of kissing on top of the tallest trees on mountaintops and a family get-together is watching a baseball game where everyone can hit homeruns and outrun the ball. This is visually amusing, but they're sitting in silence because, aside from being a vampire and bloodcake, there's nothing for them to really base their relationship on.

What is good about this? The movie has painted an issue that is about sex and hardly ever mentions the sex. Like Nicole DeBruler once explained to me how girls love the Phantom of the Opera because he is a tortured soul, Edward is the same way of torture and conflict. Even though she explained it to me and it made sense, I still don't understand it and can't explain it myself, so it flies over my head, but I do know it will sink and sit in girls' hearts. Just like how The Notebook hit with unbelievable accuracy to make everyone cry, Twilight will make girls mushy with laser accuracy and just pass over the guys.

Stupid romance aside, I found the family drama more interesting and how the town exemplifies that. She's moved from a mom in the desert to a father in the mountains. The father is protective (he is the police chief) but gets to be wiser than most parents. He knows when the conversation is dead and doesn't make it worse by trying harder to socialize. He offers her pepperspray and rather than argue about the dangers, just asks she does it for him.

Bella's alienation is also presented well. Guys harrass her, with both good and bad intentions, but most of this is left with subtle hints and looks, brief moments to say it's there, but to not distract us from Edward. If you look closely, Edward is positioned in front of a stuffed owl, whichmakes Edward appear to have small angel wings. The town is weird, but doesn't make humor of it. It's simply there, which keeps our attention on Bella's awkwardness. I felt more for her moving than I did about her romance.

The vampire side is more interesting when it isn't just her and Edward. The Cullens' house has an unused kitchen, a montage of graduation caps (because they never escape high school), and doors that open out to the air on the second floor. They welcome her as a chance to use the kitchen, but there's an odd silence when someone mentions them breaking up. If Bella reveals the secret, it would as bad for the Cullens as Edward biting Bella would be bad for her. And you thought meeting the girl's family was tough.

Is it entertaining? No. It moves slowly and mostly sets the mood rather than an actual story. There's a narration that stops halfway through the movie, then comes back because the pace changes back and forth.

Is it for everyone? Yes. It is neutral and gives something for girls and vampire fans, even if one might be bored at certain points.

is it memorable? Some will call it the best romance ever. The others are not the type for arguing over romance movies.