House: More of a Nightmare Bed and Breakfast

I walked into this movie knowing nothing about it. No previews, only knowing the genre is horror and the ticket is $4.25 (bargain theater). It is part of my commentment to avoid spoilers before seeing the movie. Imagine if you didn't know a body was going to fall on the taxi in Collateral or everyone dies at the end of a tragedy. Many fake deaths had been revealed earlier due to knowing they'd have future scenes that I had seen in the previews. This made me even more confused as the movie got to the plot. Maybe the movie needed a preview so you can tell it isn't what it pretends to be at first.

The pace is fast and the plot slow and hardly there. A couple gets stranded when taking a short-cut off of the highway. Horror critic advice: never take the short-cut. If wrong turns are bad enough, short-cuts are suicide. They walk in the rain down the road to a - you guessed it - a house! It's actually a bed and breakfast, where they met a second couple, only this one isn't having relationship troubles. The house makes noises, which they quickly forget about. They see things that aren't there, but the characters know they're not there while the audience is still in the dark. The lights go out, the hotel staff appear out of no where, the table is already set for the four guests. The phone doesn't work.

What's wrong with this formula for haunted house? The characters point everything out. A table for four already set speaks for itself when the four walk into the room and stare at the plates, but that doesn't stop the characters from talking about it as though we couldn't notice. No one replies to this being pointed out, only moves on to whatever's next. They're observant, but don't notice the steel caging next to the door with a really big lock.

Right when you thought the plot was established... there's a killer outside. Inside and trapped isn't the worry, it's keeping the masked killer outside kept out! Give the movie five minutes and they reverse, it's the keepy people inside that we're suppose to worry about.

Now comes the good news and the bad news. Bad news: the plot changes again. Good news: this plot is better. Each of the guests have a dark secret of one kind or another. They relive it in a haze, as though they may be imagining it, or the house puts them right there. This is starting to feel like Stephen King in a good way. I get the same creepy feelings I had when I first watched The Shining (the best hotel horror) and 1408 (good psychological/past horror). Oh, and what does the killer want? For one of them to be killed. One dead body provided, the rest get to live. It's like Saw only the game is presented and then forgotten about by the turns in the plot.

I liked the psychological aspect. That much absorbed me. I couldn't turn away when wondering what dark secrets the others would have, or if one would be executed when they reunited after various attempts to flee while leaving the others. Flashbacks are chilling. There is a printed paper scene echoing Shining which is almost as effective.

However, while the movie will, eventually, keep you in your seat, the bad outweighs the good. In the moment in the middle, it at the peak, but both ends of the mountain are steep. Like the multiple starts, there are multiple ends, which leave me half-satisfied (half are good), but still lack the chill in the spine at the end. The troubles in the relationships are established with two-line arguments that never give the movie depth. Right when you think one of them will explain what's bugging them, he ends the argument with, "YOU KNOW WHAT!?!?... I'm tired and hungry." Big revelation.

Is it entertaining? In the middle. That's one fourth boring, half entertaining, another fourth boring, in that order.

Is it for everyone? No. Horror fans will appreciate what it is going for, and can pick up on it, but the lousy script ruins most of it. Fire the dialogue writer.

Is it memorable? Only to Michael Madsen fans, who will note him as the villain.

You can see it and be entertained, but they make it too much of a mystery to enjoy. I kept feeling I was left in the dark, and rightfully so. These guys need to see 1408 again.